Jeremy Paster memorial guestbook

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Submitted by Comments:
Name: Manfred Krautter
From: Greenpeace Germany
Dear Friends of Jeremy,
Dear Family of Jeremy,

Today I am writing you from Green Gulch Zen Center, Green Dragon Temple in California where I stay for Zen practice for a couple of months. I received the sad message about Jeremy just yesterday. My heart is with all who knew Jeremy.
Tonight we carried out a memorial service in order to honor Jeremies life, love and compassionate work as well as to support him where ever he may be now. Part of the service was the chanting of the DĀIHI SHĪN DARANI for great compassion.

Love,
Gasho,
Manfred Krautter

Daihi Shin Darani

Namu Kara-tan-no-Tora-ya-ya,
Namo ratna- trayaya
Adoration to the Triple Treasure!

namu ori-ya, Boryo-ki-chi-shihu-ra-ya, Fuji-sato-bo-ya,
namah arya Avalokiteœvaraya Bodhisattvaya
Adoration to Avolokitesvara the Bodhisattva-

Moko-sato-bo-ya, mo-ko-kya-ru-ni-kya-ya,
Mahasattvaya mahakarunikaya
Mahasattva who is the great compassionate one!

en, sa-hara-ha-ei shu-tan-no-ton-sha,
Om sabalavati œudhanatasya
Om, to the one who performs a leap beyond all fears!

namu shiki-ri-toi-mo, ori-ya Boryo-ki-chi-shihu-ra rin-to-bo,
namas-krivanimam arya Avolokiteœvara lamtabha
Having adored him, may I enter into the heart of The

na-mu no-ra-kin-ji, ki-ri-mo-ko-ho-do-sha-mi,
namo nilakantha œrimahapataœami
blue-necked one known as the noble adorable Avalokitesvara!

sa-bo-o-to-jo-shu-ben, o-shu-in,
sarvatodhuœuphem asiyum
It means the completing of all meaning, it is pure, It is that which

sa-bo-sa-to, no-mo bo-gya, mo-ha-te-cho,
sarvasada nama bhaga mabhatetu
makes all beings victorious And cleanses the path of existence.

to-ji-to, en, o-bo-ryo-ki, ru-gya-chi, kya-ra-chi,
tadyatha Om avaloki locate kalati
Thus: Om, the seer, the world-transcending one!

i-Kiri Mo-ko-fuji-sato, sa-bo sa-bo,
eœhili mahabodhisattva sabho sabho
O Hari the Mahabodhisattva! All, All!

mo-ra mo-ra, mo-ki mo-ki,
mara mara maœi maœi
Defilement, Defilement! The earth, the earth!

ri-to-in ku-ryo ku-ryo, ke-mo to-ryo to-ryo,
ridhayum guru guru gamma turu turu
It is the heart. Do, do the work! Hold fast, hold fast!

ho-ja-ya-chi, mo-ko-ho-ja-ya-chi, to-ra to-ra,
bhaœiyati mahabhaœiyati dhara dhara
O great victor! Hold on, hold on! I hold on.

Chiri-ni shihu-ra-ya, sha-ro sha-ro,
Dhirini œvaraya jala jala
To Indra the creator!

mo-mo ha-mo-ra, ho-chi-ri,
mama bhamara mudhili
Move, move, my defilement-free seal!

iu-ki iu-ki, shi-no shi-no, ora-san fura-sha-ri,
edhyehi œina œina alaœim bhalaœari
Come, come! Hear, hear! A joy springs up in me!

ha-za ha-zan, fura-sha-ya,
bhaœa bhaœim bharaœaya
Speak, Speak! Directing!

ku-ryo ku-ryo, mo-ra ku-ryo ku-ryo, ki-ri
hulu hulu pra- hulu hulu œri
Hulu, hulu, mala-hulu, hulu, hile!

sha-ro sha-ro, shi-ri shi-ri, su-ryo su-ryo,
sara sara siri siri suru suru
Sara, sara! Siri, siri! Suru, suru!

fuji-ya fuji-ya,
budhi budhi
Be awakened, be awakened!

fudo-ya fudo-ya,
budhaya budhaya
Have awakened, have awakened!

mi-chiri-ya,  nora-kin-ji,
maitriye nilakantha
O merciful one, blue necked one!

chiri-shuni-no, hoya-mono, somo-ko,
triœarana bhayamana svaha
Of daring ones, to the joyous, hail!

shido-ya, somo-ko,
sitaya svaha
To the successful one, hail!

moko, shido-ya, somo-ko,
maha sitaya svaha
To the great successful one, hail!

Shido-yu-ki shihu-ra-ya, somo-ko
sitayaye œvaraya svaha
To the one that has attained mastery in the Discipline, hail!

nora-kin-ji, somo-ko,
nilakanthi svaha
To the blue necked one, hail!

mo-ra-no-ra somo-ko,
pranila svaha
To the boar-faced one, hail!

shira-su omo-gya-ya, somo-ko,
œri sidha mukhaya svaha
To the one with a lion’s head and face, hail!

sobo moko shido-ya, somo-ko,
savha maha astaya svaha
To the one who holds a weapon in his hand, hail!

shaki-ra oshi-do-ya, somo-ko,
cakra astaya svaha
To the one who holds a wheel in his hand, hail!

hodo mogya-shido-ya, somo-ko,
padma keœaya svaha
To the one who holds a lotus in his hand, hail!

nora-kin-ji ha-gyara-ya, somo-ko,
nilakanthe pantalaya svaha
To the blue-necked far-causing one, hail!

mo-hori-shin-gyara-ya, somo-ko,
mobholishankaraye svaha
To the beneficient one referred to in this Dharani Beginning with”Namah”, hail!

namu Kara-tan-no Tora-ya-ya,
namo ratna- trayaya
Adoration to the Triple Treasure!

• namu ori-ya, Boryo-ki-chi-shihu-ra-ya, somo-ko,
namah arya avalokita iœvaraya svaha
Adoration to Avolokitesavara! Hail!

• shite-do modo-ra,
Om sidhyantu mantra
May these (prayers) be successful!

Hodo-ya somo-ko.
pataye svaha
To this magical formula hail!

English translation from:
Added: ‘Soto Shu Sutras’ (Japanese/English, second edition), Soto Shu Shumucho/Kinko Delete this entry  Reply to entry  View IP address  
Submitted by Comments:
Name: Crystal Leaver
Jeremy,
I felt so lucky to know you for the short time I did during and post GP, especially that beautiful sunny summer in Seattle where I ran into you by surprise. Thanks so much for teaching me all you did about both activism,and life.

~crystal
Added: December 1, 2007 Delete this entry  Reply to entry  View IP address  
Submitted by Comments:
Name: Cynthia Jordan
From: Colorado Springs, Colorado
I remember Jeremy as a handsome young boy, reveling in the excitement of youth. I used to watch Sherry as a doting and loving mother, all the while worried about what direction her son would take. Over the years, Jeremy has proven to her and to the world what that direction was.

I have watched her laugh about his tribulations and cry over his distance. I watched their relationship change and grow from troubled to respectful, yet there was always a deep love and honor for each other.

I will miss Jeremy, as will everyone who his life touched. To my dear friend Sherry, I am so deeply sorry for the loss of your sweet son.

Love, Cyndy
Added: December 1, 2007 Delete this entry  Reply to entry  View IP address  
Submitted by Comments:
Name: Jennifer Zurick
Jeremy,

Knowing you enriched my life in so many ways. I remember meeting you when we were both in college, at the height of our art school intellectualism. We sat discussing Barthes, “Rollie” while everyone tripped around us. Years later we met again and fell in love in a spring of wildflowers in the California Desert with Picone as shepherd-pan to our emerging love. I remember Mother’s Day when the Magician and the Queen of Wands wove together while James recited Rumi to us, and the Divine Beloved emerged on the sun-drenched rock. How I laughed with joy in the realization that we could never be off of our spiritual path…that we are that path. I remember Picone and you and I crammed into my car driving across country; watching you from the edges at my first Ruckus camp, as you sat in a circle, everyone listening intently to what you shared. I also remember the vortex of Key West, trying to hitchhike a free boat to Cuba, and partying late into the night. I remember all kinds of yoga, meditation, qi gong, and my first lead climb. I remember letting you practice on me while you learned acupuncture, during that sweet, sweet year in Pacific Grove. I remember our year in LA and the disillusionment of trying to turn spiritual union into livelihood, and how returning to Burma a second time was a balm, the immediacy of entering a village with our friends and medicine to share, and all of the poetry written to the Divine along the dirt paths through the jungle. I remember you holding me when I completely freaked-out during our WFR course with the realization of how physically vulnerable our physical bodies are. I remember you always wanting to balance the healer with the activist, pondering the best way to create transformation in the world, and trying to balance those parts of yourself when we moved to DC. You were always searching for equilibrium between freedom and attachment, and family and adventure. And there was also creative Jer, the filmmaker and mandala maker, the cook, the tincture maker. There was so much that we shared, and so much we willingly threw into the cauldron of change, trusting always that even in small ways we’d be part of each other lives.

Now you’re gone. I already mourned you once when we separated as partners, and while you were dying I felt that I could mourn you unselfishly this time, not based on what you meant to me, but purely for what you would miss in your own life. But I find that isn’t true! There are experiences we shared that shaped us as people, choices we made together that nobody else in the world shared. I mourn that we’re never going to sit together as old-folk-friends looking back on our long lives together and apart, and while I can hold on to those who were there for parts of what we shared, to Dang, Picone, Scott Catamas, Peter in Yosemite, nobody else was there for all of that, and damn it Jeremy, if I knew then how few years were left for you, I wouldn’t have let you sit at your computer all weekend during the snowstorm winter in DC.

The only bitter words I ever spoke to you upon parting were that I didn’t want my next partner to be an activist. I didn’t want someone who would be away for months at a time. I was wrong, Jer. We are all of us striving for balance between the mammalian root and the mystical seeker, being both present in the world and the embodiment of spirit; we are all attempting to weave the threads of commitment without pulling them too tightly, and in the end you were the bravest person I ever knew.

I always thought you were an amazing being, one who inspired the love and admiration of everyone around you, and yet in the last year of your life you seemed to really ripen as a man. I was glad when you told me that cancer made you rethink what was important to you and you reformed your relationship to commitment, and I was so glad for you that you moved forward in Love with Bethleigh (and yes, also glad to hear you say I was right all along) and it’s completely fucked up that you only had that to cherish for such a brief time. We were partners for five years and we didn’t know how precious those years were… The future seemed so long and we were so young. If I had known how early you would be taken from this life, I would have exacted that we lived as intensely as our poetry; I wouldn’t have cared so much about being nested in a beautiful shared reality; I would have climbed El Capitan with you without conditions.

You visited me many times in dreams during your cancer. Often I would have a dream and then the next day look on your blog only to find you had posted what you told me in a dream. The night before I learned you had cancer I dreamed that you were in a room full of people in pain. You lied on the floor and asked me to massage your sacrum; you said that was where the pain was. In the shadows there was a dark haired woman waiting for you to turn toward her, a gentle shimmery presence. Once you walked with me and told me your PSA was down; the treatment was working. Then a couple of months later you told me that the treatment was no longer working and that you would die. I never told you about that dream. I wanted to be there for you in the way you needed me to be, and I wasn’t even sure what role I could take for you through this process, but you always seemed so positive that you would live. I wanted to reflect that hope back to you and wanted to believe there could be a miracle, even as I searched the internet for any study that indicated your disease could be cured and found nothing.

This is really long… But I want to say in parting that I want to believe we have life experiences to learn from them…to try to find comfort in believing there’s reason for what is otherwise incomprehensible. The summer before last I felt that you had learned what you could learn, in totally opening your heart up to Love, and so it was time for the cancer to pass. What I didn’t yet realize that you didn’t get cancer only for your own learning, but for all of us. You’ve taught me that we really are all connected to one another, that what we take on for ourselves, we take on for everyone. I have to believe that in some way you absorbed some of the karma of this planet into your own body, and took it to the stars for transmutation, and I wish you freedom, whole and complete, in that journey.
Added: December 1, 2007 Delete this entry  Reply to entry  View IP address  
Submitted by Comments:
Name: Ryan Jones
From: Brooklyn, New York
I didn't know Jason personally, but found him through Green Peace. I am so grateful to have gotten the chance to see the world through his eyes. What a blessing and inspiration.

God Bless You Jeremy.
Added: November 30, 2007 Delete this entry  Reply to entry  View IP address  
Submitted by Comments:
Name: nancy
I had so much to say but this thing won't let me!!
Added: November 30, 2007 Delete this entry  Reply to entry  View IP address  
Submitted by Comments:
Name: Drew Leavenworth
From: Los Angeles
Jeremy,

In quiet places I will sit with you and hold your hand. I will plumb the depths of spiritual waters by your side, laying breathless in the bottomless cosmic sea.

We can finally find the time for you to learn those tabla rhythms you were intrigued with. I will happily lend you my drums.

And I will try to entrance you again with ancient dances and feed you that chocolate tofu pie that you inhaled so enthusiastically.

I will reveal to you everything I know about living tax-free and the controversy of sovereign citizenship that you were so curious about.

We can continue to explore the magic of the world medicine that we both adore. Won't you finally come down and study that Ph.D. in Classical Chinese Medicine at my university, as you desired?!

I would give you another massage of healing oils by candelight like so long ago and snuggle again under layers of covers, laughing at the cold.

Foreheads pressed together, we will join at the spiritual eye and find that inner awakening and share the wonders of the subtle realms of Light, Love, and Bliss.

Though you have fled the burden of the fleshly form, still I feel you vibrating and I will always meet you there.

In ever-expanding love,

Drewliteful
Added: November 30, 2007 Delete this entry  Reply to entry  View IP address  
Submitted by Comments:
Name: Heidi Q
I usually speak too much - but with Jeremy I could be silent and not speak because Jeremy had the powerful capacity to communicate by just gazing into your eyes and knowing. He taught me so much, about stillness and a deep calm that comes from being deeply connected to something greater. I will always remember being with him during an act of civil disobedience in LA. Jeremy was this center of calm amongst the chaos and I learned so much by just observing and being in his presence - I felt like he was some buddha amongst the mortals who hadn't quite figured it all out yet :) He was such a powerful teacher in so many ways. I feel truly blessed and honored to have been graced with his friendship and love. I am also in awe of the multitude of beautiful people he touched. The earth now has a powerful spirit, and Jeremy can be everywhere on the earth simultaneously :)
Added: November 29, 2007 Delete this entry  Reply to entry  View IP address  
Submitted by Comments:
Name: Matthew Hazelrig
From: Portland, Or
Jeremy was a true golden hearted gentleman. I loved to make him laugh. I am fortunate to have known him. I will miss him.
Added: November 29, 2007 Delete this entry  Reply to entry  View IP address  
Submitted by Comments:
Name: Jackie Downing
From: Emeryville, CA
Jeremy, it was a pleasure to have met you and worked with you. While you worked to create a better future, you also treated people with kindness and respect in your every day life. You embraced the present and you faced your illness with courage and fearlessness. You were real. Your spirit will live on in all those you inspired. I wish the best for you, your family & friends. Love, Jackie
Added: November 29, 2007 Delete this entry  Reply to entry  View IP address  

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